Your sexually minded folks are hella experienced
WOW‚ PORTLAND, unnecessary of you took this year’s Mercury Sex Survey! Thank you so much! We question just how many of you finished they pants-less? (We gotta put one into next year’s questionnaire!) Of these merely signing up for us, two weeks before I composed brand new around 50 issues you to generated within the 2014 Mercury Intercourse Questionnaire. As a result, a massive 3,one hundred Portlanders (two times as of several since the past big date) refused the newest lights, pumped the newest ined your own inner-deviant. [Note: Some people responded the questions, but some people didn’t feel troubled-so that is why some of the efficiency will most likely not equivalent one hundred%, math-nerds.] Now let’s talk about this new monumental activity out-of decryption such lbs hemorrhoids out-of survey performance. I make an effort to scientifically answer these types of concerns: Who will be you, Portland? And you can whom you fuckin’? Let’s Enter into It.
You are mainly twenty six so you can thirty-five years old-gee, I’m so surprised. 1 percent of you try 66 so you can 75 years of age, most likely since my moms and dads are particularly supporting. 50% people is actually females, much less than 50% guys, when you find yourself 2% people will love us to prevent inquiring from the yer intercourse. (Content acquired, homies).
To have a neighbor hood that is accused to be promiscuous, being a short-term where you can find a great deal of bands running owing to anywhere between Eugene and Seattle, and you can drawing young ballers seeking to generate a destroying regarding the a residential property games-an astonishing 63% of you are hitched or are co-habitating. DAYUM, Portland, y’all have been in matchmaking. Not surprising We Haven’t Satisfied Someone! (That makes myself have more confidence in the my personal cold, blank bed. Just what a, life-affirming sex survey this will be!)
Most (40%) of you has actually bachelor’s levels, if you’re from the two hundred of you learned everything understand regarding “the latest streets.” (Hello boy, the brand new roadways try not to rest.)
On the questionnaire, I inquired you regarding the work. primarily in order to feel polite, plus you never feel our very own matchmaking is approximately intercourse (often you have got to nod and you will look supportively just like the people you are screwing goes on as well as on about their jerky manager). 7% people 
benefit government entities, and you may and that is, regulators workers are most likely in order to jerk-off each and every day! (Not surprising that those people outlines from the post office are incredibly much time! They have been licking their stamp. should you get my personal definition.)
Develop knowing how another 99% lives will allow you to figure out what’s happening together with your non-asexual loved ones, and maybe even Mulder and you can Scully
67% people identify once the heterosexual. Simply 5% is dated-fashioned gay men, meaning that people was determining since newfangled queers! 14% of you is bi, and 4% people was pansexual. And since I got to look it, you may want so it concept of “pansexual”: intimately interested in every sexes, rather than accepting a sex binary. Basically it appears to be ever more popular not to promote this subject on the the sack. Shag basic, ask about pronouns afterwards, correct? PORTLAND, you transformed brand new Kinsey Size away from a column towards the a good polydodecahedron. and i love your for this!
By-the-way, 1% of you pick as the asexual, which can be cool as well. Thank you for bringing which survey. I really hope it will not disgusting your away too-much.
Why don’t we talk for a moment regarding far-made-out-of “Poly Individuals.” Brand new poly community extremely stepped-up for taking it sex questionnaire, given that 42% people identified as things aside from monogamous (like in both polyamorous, monogamish, otherwise polyamorous-ish). One to appears like much! For example if i went towards the one hundred very first schedules (which was actually regarding ballpark this past summer), 42 ones males might be such, “This was really great, you will be very unique. your encourage me personally out of my wife.” Geez, Portland, you are eliminating it which have are Portland-y right now.
Bec Geyer