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How to Make a Dating Profile That Doesn’t Suck
Welcome to Megan Barton-Hanson’s new VICE UK column, covering all things to do with sex, relationships and self-love during one of the strangest eras of the 21st century. Read the previous column here.
Apps aren’t the be all and end all of dating, but they are a good laugh. They can be a welcome distraction post-break-up and a fun way of getting back into the swing of things after lockdown. Especially if the rules are how they were before; you have to book the pub several weeks in advance, you aren’t allowed to leave the table when you’re there, you can’t get up and dance. It’ll still be difficult to meet new people, even though technically everything’s open.
So, now that we’re allowed (limited) human contact again, here’s everything you need to know about making a dating profile that isn’t completely shit.
SORT OUT YOUR PHOTO GAME – ESPECIALLY YOU, STRAIGHT LADS
It’s so hard for a guy to take a decent selfie, isn’t it? They always do the bed one, the car one… it’s so cringe. I know it’s sexist but I can’t deal with too many selfies on a man’s page. If he’s pure loving himself or there’s a hint of a pout in a selfie, it’s a no-go for me. Men should avoid the pout in selfies, for sure. And everyone should avoid only using group shots where it’s unclear which one is you. Like, can you at least circle who you are please? This isn’t a game of Where’s Wally.
Recent pictures are also a must. It’s such a waste of time when you turn up and the person looks nothing like the picture. I don’t want to spend a whole week getting to know a person, getting this idea of them in my head, and then you FaceTime and they’ve got like one eye and no chat.